What Happens In Mykonos, Stays In Mykonos
by Ruxandra Antonescu
Summary: This is how the JLU episode "This Little Piggy" should have ended. One shot.


_Hi, guys! I'm baaack! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (Well, Happy Holidays for some, I suppose)._

_I've been happily typing away on my laptop, working on the next chapter of "A Royal Engagement" but then editlady617, after watching "Magic Mike," planted this idea for a one shot in my head and I simply could not resist the temptation to (co-)write it! So, this is all her fault! I. Am. Innocent! But I swear to God, the thought of it is just too hilarious!_

_As always, I (we) do not own anything - just the buffoonery._

_p.s. New chapter for "A Royal Engagement" will be up in a few days... :)_

* * *

**What Happens In Mykonos, Stays In Mykonos**

Circe leisurely floated on air as she watched Batman and Zatanna battle with her human guards turned wild beasts.

"Elbat mrof egac!" Zatanna yelled as a black panther made a lunge at her. The big cat roared in frustration, swiping at the cage with its lethally sharp claws. Zatanna ran to Batman's side.

"You're both beginning to remind me of Sisyphus after a hard day pushing his boulder up the mountain," Circe drawled. She raised her arms overhead, hands glowing brightly with a magic spell raring to be unleashed. "But me? I could keep this up all night."

"Wait!" Batman held up a gauntleted hand making Circe pause. "It seems that magic always has a price."

The sorceress lifted an eyebrow. "And your point is?"

Batman straightened up and took a deep breath. "What would I have to give to make you lift your spell on Diana?"

"Weeell… Now, you're getting interesting…" Circe glided down in front of him. "I want something from you that's very precious… something you've worked very hard to conceal… something when gone, you can never regain…"

Bruce's eyes narrowed suspiciously at Circe's maleficent tone of voice.

"Something… so… _shattering_…"

* * *

Bruce stood backstage muttering under his breath. "I'm doing this for Diana. I'm doing this for Diana. I'm doing this…"

"And you're just friends, right?" Zatanna teased. The introductory notes of a familiar song began to play on the loud speakers.

"Hold on to your hats, ladies!" A booming voice announced. "Now coming to the main stage – The Dark Knight!"

"That's your cue!" Zatanna gave Bruce a not so gentle shove. "Go!"

"This doesn't come off easily…" Bruce grumbled as he took his place at the center of the stage.

"Don't worry, Batman," Zatanna assured him with a giggle. "I've got it umm… _covered_."

The curtains parted before him…

_Where have all the good men gone?  
__And where are all the gods?_

Bruce slowly gyrated his way forward, the spotlight following his every single move. He had never felt more vulnerable and so humiliated in his entire life. _This is for Diana!_ He reminded himself sternly. _Focus, Bruce! Focus!_

_Where's the street-wise Hercules  
__To fight the rising odds?_

He ran both hands slowly and seductively from his chest down to his utility belt while grinding lower… and lower to the floor. With a deft twist of his wrist, he released the clasp of his belt making it fall to the floor.

_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
__Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need…_

_Thank god, Bruce Wayne has gotten enough lap dances to know the basics_, Bruce thought wryly.

_I need a hero!_

"Tsehc eceip emoc ffo!"

The whistles and catcalls from the audience nearly drowned out the music.

_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
__He's gotta be strong  
__And he's gotta be fast  
__And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
__I need a hero!  
__I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
__He's gotta be sure  
__And it's gotta be soon  
__And he's gotta be larger than life…_

"My, my…" Circe bit her lip, eyes wide relishing the vision of a half naked, pelvic thrusting Caped Crusader. "I think I want to be part of that act… My cousins, the Sirens, will be **_so_** jealous!"

"That can be arranged," Zee told her with a sly smile. "Riahc raeppa no egats!"

_Somewhere after midnight  
__In my wildest fantasy_

"Ecric no riahc!"

The ancient sorceress squealed in delight as she appeared on stage with Batman.

_Somewhere just beyond my reach  
__There's someone reaching back for me  
__Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
__It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet…_

"Oh, but I'm perfectly happy with Batman," Circe purred. Bruce jumped involuntarily when she playfully spanked his backside.

_Here goes nothing_, Bruce thought. He glanced over at Zatanna and gave her an imperceptible nod as he gripped his waistband hard, ready to yank it off.

_I need a hero!_

"Stnap emoc ffo!"

"Zee!" Bruce hissed in protest when he realized that the petite magician left nothing under the pants. Without missing a beat, he covered his groin with his cape and continued undulating to the beat.

"Oops! Sorry! I got carried away," Zatanna giggled. "Dda a gnirts-g!"

"A thong?!" Circe threw Zatanna a frown. "You're no fun."

Zatanna shrugged sheepishly.

_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
__He's gotta be sure  
__And it's gotta soon  
__And he's gotta be larger than life  
__Larger than life…_

Circe grinned, her eyes glued to Batman's crotch as he straddled her. "Larger than life, indeed."

* * *

"Beautiful!" Circe declared. The two women watched as Bruce continued with his strip tease.

"And you'll keep your part of the bargain?" Zatanna reminded her.

Circe nodded. "A deal's a deal. But he'll have to finish the song."

"You bet he does!" Zatanna agreed enthusiastically. "I'd insist on it."

"Well, ta-ta," Circe said with a small wave of her hand. "I better make myself scarce. I have a feeling he wouldn't want me around when his performance is over. See you around, pet."

"Not too soon, I hope."

Energetic applause and wild cheers followed Bruce as he stalked off the stage, his cape wrapped securely around him. He stopped in front of Zatanna. "I want my armor back."

"Just say the magic word," Zatanna smirked. Bruce just scowled at her. "Tup eth tiustab no!"

Bruce glanced down at himself and relaxed a little when he saw that everything was where it should be.

"I've known you for a long time but I never realized you can dance that way," Zatanna remarked. "You've got mad stripper skills!"

"If you've seen me train with my martial arts senseis, you'll see dance steps and footwork that will amaze you," Bruce retorted. _And it didn't hurt that I went undercover as a Chippendale dancer in my early days as Batman to bust a drug ring that was being run out of a strip club_, he added silently. _They called me 'The Masked Marvel.'_

Zatanna shook her head in awe. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"There's one thing I've never been very good at…" Bruce admitted reluctantly. "… Saying thank you."

* * *

"And truthfully, it's all still pretty much of a blur to me," Diana told Bruce as he walked her down the hallway to her room in the Watchtower. "Did I miss anything?"

"Not really," Bruce dissembled. "The important thing is – you're safe."

"Yeah…" Diana said carefully, glancing at him sideways. "Of course… that's not the _only_ important thing."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bruce looked straight ahead, refusing to meet her gaze.

"You still haven't taken me dancing," Diana reminded him. She ducked her head trying to hide the beginnings of a smile. She picked up her pace and started humming Bonnie Tyler's "I Need A Hero."

Bruce stopped dead in his tracks, mouth agape, watching Diana's retreating back. For the first time in a long time, Bruce felt a fierce blush creep up his cheeks. Several heartbeats later, he found himself smiling wryly. _Maybe I should practice in case she __**does**__ ask…_


End file.
